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I`m sure the fellow below don`t have big feet :(
That person who waits to the last minute to change lanes and expects you to make room. NOT ON MY WATCH!
They should make an app that tells me how many Oreos I can eat for every mile I jog.
I like my women how I like my straws …. Bendy and full of liquor.
It’s interesting how the ads on Youtube never have trouble buffering
Sometimes Late at night. I rearrange traffic signs. People need to be challenged.
I need professional help. A chef and a butler should do it.
Very productive day today, turd-wise
On the 12th day of Christmas my FB gave to me- 12 dudes I`m blocking, 11 friends just watching, 10 corny topics, 9 busted Barbies, 8 friends complaining, 7 stalkers stalking, 6 party invites, fiiiivvvvee drama queeeennss, 4 game requests, 3 photo tags, 2 friends a-pokin and a creep who wont stop Inboxing meee... ;)
Bring a hedgehog into the library and frantically ask the clerks where they keep the reverse spell casting books.
People who actually rate porn videos are the unsung heroes of our generation.
If I had a dollar for every time I thought about you, I would start thinking about you.
Don`t you wish common sense would make a big comeback.
Drinking Tip: Never buy the first round cause that`s when people care what they`re drinking!
Women say childbirth is the most painful thing... obviously they have never stepped on a Lego.