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Apparently, when asked by a Traffic Cop "Where you going in such a hurry?", "To your sister`s house!" is not considered respectful to a law enforcement official......
Sure, we can be friends. I get to be Chandler.
A new study says schizophrenia and pot smoking are genetically linked — but don`t worry, another study says you`re just being paranoid.
Stress from children can take 10 yrs off your life Drinking alcohol from stress can take another 10 yrs Based on my math, I died 5 yrs ago
My therapist says I have imposter syndrome. But come on, I`m not good enough to have something fancy like that.
Coffee keeps me busy until it`s time to be drunk.
I go into Best Buy and ask "Where are your most expensive yet least guarded items?" Then someone is always nearby when I have questions.
if truth is what u want...in return alcohol is all I want...
Love makes the world go round, but alcohol makes it go round twice as fast!
no..i am not drunk, floors needs hugs too ! :p
I like when people call me "Sir". I just wish they wouldn`t follow it up with "you`re making a scene."
Whoever said "What goes around, comes around", never passed around a bag of Doritos......................
With the right music, you either forget everything or you remember everything.
I never used to mind my wife hitting me in the face as she climaxed until I found out she was faking it.
Some people should come with subtitles.