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Can`t dance? Spell your name....in the air...with your butt. BOOM! Next problem...
What idiot called it the sun instead of a space heater?
I don’t want to be a millionaire, I just want enough money to be able to stare off into the distance while pumping gas.
I do not have commitment issues... I`ve been buying the same brand of vodka for 8 years!
Times change When I was a kid, werewolves and vampires were very scary. Now everyone wants to have sex with them
Its that time of year to find out what your friends with pools have been up to since last year.
"Open Mike Night" sounded like a lot of fun until I realised I`d been invited to an autopsy.
I`m not lying, I`m just making the story better.
What if cell phones are part of an elaborate plot to rid the world of phone booths so Superman has nowhere to change?
I`m awesome...just ask me...!!!!
Some of us are basically unpaid Facebook interns.
When I was young I was scared of the dark. Now when I see my electricity bill I am scared of the lights.
I had this awesome dream last night where Facebook went down and most of you went on a killing spree.
Don`t understand how people in depression commercials can be sad with how attractive they are.
Get Dora and Boots on this missing plane case now, Dora solves the case everytime