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I hate when the person I Facebook-stalk never updates anything.
I was asked what I look for in a relationship. Apparently, "A way out" wasn`t the right answer.
It isn`t a successful BBQ until an intoxicated idiot runs face first into a sliding glass door. I`m fine by the way.
Yes it may sound childish but if it glows in the dark I still get freaking exited.
If you think your having a bad day ... You could be digging your own grave at gun point and find buried treasure.
Boobs are to men what laser pointers are to cats
If anyone could do it, it wouldn`t be called PROcrastination.
Never believe a person who claims is telling the truth while holding a pack of beers in both their hands
I feel like I am losing my mind !!! But as long as I can keep the bit that tells me when to pee, I should be OK !!
Me? Stalk? No, I just observe... behind a tree... at night…in the rain.
I have this empty feeling inside of me. Wait, there`s my drink.
I may hate waiting. But I love procastinating.
A trail of clothes leading to my bedroom means I dropped them on the way from the dryer.
You can get super human strength when put in life or death situations. Last night I uncorked a bottle of wine with my teeth during a tantrum...
If I’m going to sweep all of my problems under the rug, then I’m going to need a bigger rug.