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I would like to remind everyone it`s not the size of the boat... Or the motion of the ocean, but the whether the boat is able to stay in port until all passangers have gotten off.
The black sheep always have the best stories.
The average fight between men lasts 3 minutes. The average fight between women lasts 17 years.
Some of the best moments in life are the ones you can’t tell anyone about.
Sometimes I`ll catch my reflection in a mirror and I`ll be like, "oh no, that can`t be right."
You`re either part of the solution, or you`re one of my coworkers.
Life is far too short to remove the USB safely.
Is it "poon tang", or "poontang"? I`m trying to update my Christian Mingle profile.
I say ” I shouldn’t be telling you this,” at the beginning of every conversation so people will listen to what I’m saying.
Knock knock... whos there? Cows go... Cows go who, No, cows go moo
I`m never free but I`m available.
I bet if there were little basketball hoops above every garbage can, littering would greatly decrease.
I decided to make a bucket list for when I kick the bucket. Number 1: Wear shoes! Ever tried kicking a metal bucket without shoes?
can´t find Sesame Street on my GPS. Can you tell me how to get there?
If you’re so much better than the leading brand then why are you not the leading brand?