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Perhaps Nicki Minaj just lost a series of bets.
Ask your doctor if walking blindly into traffic is right for you
the dude who posted ”MERRY CHRISTMAS“ has still got his head shoved up the turkeys A$$ it seems...
I had 3 happy meals today and none of them worked.
Just remember, If we get caught you`re deaf and I don`t speak English.
A garbage disposal is just a device for finishing off all the food no one else in the house will eat.
There is no angry way to say `bubbles.`
I`m just wondering what the employees at the Weather Channel make small talk about.
"Never pick a fight with an ugly person. They`ve got nothing to lose." -Robin Williams
Roses are red, violets are blue, sandwiches are tasty, rhyming is hard
This oatmeal tastes like I`m gonna need a doughnut.
I watched my first porn movie today. I looked so much younger back then...
My favorite holiday spirit is poured over ice.
In your face with a can of mace, make you cry all over the place!!
President Donald Trump will sign an executive order tomorrow to bring back Pluto as a planet. Make the universe GREAT again.