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I can`t understand why women are okay that JCPenney has an older women`s clothing line named, "Sag Harbor."
Sorry that most of my hilarious jokes are borderline inappropriate. And by sorry, I mean you`re welcome.
If I cover my phone at work with Preparation H, would it filter out the `pains in the butts` from calling?
Sometimes I feel as though my life should be documented for future generations.
Wow! Sit-Downs are way easier than Sit-Ups!
Why does life keep teaching me lessons I have no desire to learn?
Don`t play dumb with me. That`s a game you can`t win.
Donuts: An excuse to eat cake for breakfast.
The best part about being an adult is, nobody can tell you, you can`t have ice cream for breakfast.
gets drunk on one drink. The trouble is, I can´t remember if it´s the thirteenth or the fourteenth.
Teens, you should not being getting drunk. You`re annoying enough as it is
NASCAR pit crews are always retiring. Let it sink in: now laugh
REMEMBER: If you start to hear banjos, get the hell outta there!
If your wife says "what would you do without me?" "Live happily ever after" is NOT the correct answer.
Mail from Grandma: FW:FW:FW:FW:FW:FW:FW:FW:No subject