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I want to meet myself from someone else’s point of view.
Life is a waste of time, time is a waste of life, get wasted all the time and have the time of your life!
Admit it, you should be doing something else really important right now but your on Facebook again.
The good thing about being tall is, you can`t get lost in a crowd. The bad thing is, you can`t get lost in a crowd.
It doesn`t matter how old you are, If you hear the ice cream truck jingle you jump out the window for that sh!t.
I used to like my neighbours, until they put a password on their Wi-Fi
If "The Breakfast Club" were made today, it would be a silent film about 5 kids staring at their phones.
When I`m bored I like to call in sick to places I don`t work for. I`m getting written up at Kohls.
We`re all mature until somebody brings out the bubble-wrap...
You`ll never see me on Hoarders because I can`t afford that much sh!t.
Tried to text "playa" but it changed it to "player" I must have the white iPhone.
Keep it down kids!.. Daddy is trying to think of something stupid to say on the internet.
New Life Goal: Get a job where people ask me, "You actually get paid for doing this?"
You never know how little self control you have until they put chips and salsa in front of you at a Mexican restaurant.
What do you call an alligator wearing a vest? An investigator. Hahaha I’m so sorry. No I’m not.