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Buying new Nikes, call that soul searching
I ate a shepherd`s pie for lunch. He was pretty upset about it.
Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life.
The way I see it, every Friday is Good Friday.
That awkward moment when a comment gets more “likes” than your status.
I`m sorry. I know I said hi, but I wasn`t really prepared for any follow-up conversation.
Hooray ! My face book film has been nominated for an Academy Award
500 recipes pinned to my Pinterest board. Eating a peanut butter & jelly sandwich.
Don`t ask me for childcare advice unless you want nuggets of wisdom like "always punch holes in the box so they can breathe."
The only clubs I’m into are sandwiches.
I`m good at counting cards. I keep ending up with 52.
All I`m saying is there`s a reason all the best love songs have the word crazy in them.
Of all the horrible ways to die I think healthy eating sounds the most painful.
The weather is so nice. I think I’ll go outside and watch other people run.
Honking your horn is fun but rolling down your window and screaming “honk” at people is just way more satisfying.