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I have a feeling my check liver light will come on this weekend
Okay, let’s get this straight. There’s no way everone here has the best boyfriend in the world.
Dumped my multiple personality girlfriend yesterday. She took it well, not so well, and she was really upset...
When I go into a bar I shout out "YOU CHEATING WHORE!!!!" Whoever turns around is who I`m buying drinks for.
Allow me to explain myself via a new communication method I like to call "Interpretive Napping"
is frickin awesome! Nough Said.
It`s not a mental breakdown if the police wasn`t called.
You`d think Pizza Hut would be able to upgrade to a house by now.
Anybody know where the cheapest place to buy 12 red roses is?.....just asking for a friend.
A quiet man is a thinking man. A quiet woman is usually mad.
Dear paranoid people who check behind their shower curtains for murderers, If you do find one, what`s your plan? ;)
I would know if I was insane, the voices would tell me.
If you enjoy being the 10,000th person to put your thumb into a hole, then bowling is for you.
I keep seeing all these commercial on TV about working out and getting "ripped" in 90 days.. Give me a bottle of Jack Daniels and I`ll get ripped in 15 minutes
OK so i have an idea ............... wait why are you all running away?