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Now there’s Adderall to perk up, Xanax to calm down, Prozac to feel normal. In my day we drank beer for all three.
No I don`t think you`re stupid, I just think you have real bad luck when it comes to thinking
Decided to make a life altering decision today.... When I think of it I`ll let you know
I`ll do a lot of things for money, but I draw the line at working...
Alcohol doesn´t solve any problems ... but then again, neither does milk.
If you can’t face it, moon it.
I`ve been taking viagara for my sunburn........ It doesn`t cure it...... but it does keep the sheets off my legs at night.
My neighbours are loud and obnoxious. Now I know how Canada feels.
Life..it`s just an `F` in lie....
My favorite thing about winter...waking up from hibernation!
If I knew how to backflip, I`d never walk anywhere.
A trail of clothes leading to my bedroom means that I dropped them on the way from the dryer ... That`s all.
A friend of mine asked if I was coming to her wedding. I said no, I`ll catch the next one. She`s mad at me now.
I hate it when I mentally undressing someone and my OCD kicks in and I start folding their clothes.
Just once I`d like to walk down the aisle, take my vows, say I do...Without being dragged out being told, "Ma`am, you`re not the bride..."