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I can`t wait for the day when my kids are old enough that I can drink with them and not because of them.
Who else`s favorite Spring time game is "Guess how deep that pothole really is."
I use to be addicted to soap, but now I`m clean
Forget drugs and sex. Parents please talk to your kids about their grammar and spelling.
The sole purpose of a child`s middle name, is so he can tell when he`s really in trouble.
You guys remember back before Google when we would just sit around and wonder about sh!t ...?
You are here: X
There are 2 kinds of people: 1) Happy morning people 2) Cranky morning people that fantasize about killing the happy morning people
Do feminists look under their beds for the boogie woman?
What I lack in sex appeal I make up in staying home and drinking.
Porn is the only type of entertainment where "not watching the whole thing" means it was good.
Dear Rebecca Black, you are the most beautiful And prettiest girl in the world. Don`t let the haters get you down. P.S Forgot to mention today`s opposite day.
Has anybody seen my keys? they`re awesome.
I just lost my mood ring, I don`t know how I feel about that.
It`s kind of funny how as you get older, you start enjoying things that you hated as a kid, like taking naps and getting spanked.