Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I heard someone say their podcast was on "hiatus", guess that sounds better than "my mom took away my laptop".
Honey, your haters are imaginary. No one wants to be you. I promise.
Apparently, the answer "I Know" is not a good answer when your friend tells you how good his girlfriend is in bed
My Therapist told me not to drink while I`m on my Meds but little does she know...I`ve been off my Meds for almost a week now!
For all those girls that say `all guys are the same` ... Who told you to try them all? Hoe.
Some of the best decisions I’ve ever made involved me clicking cancel instead of send.
Texting while driving is incredibly stupid and dangerous ... You`re practically begging for typos.
Here`s a list of helpful tips for meeting a great girl: 1. Don`t be me.
Judging from all the misery and carnage on my newsfeed, I`m assuming it`s Monday.
Due to the weather, I was able to use the words "wet and slippery" at work all day without anyone thinking I`m a big perv.
People who wait 4 hours to reply to my text with "lol" should be shot.
The snooze button, because there’s nothing like starting your day off with a little procrastination.
If he`s dumb enough to send you a generic message in a mass text...be smart enough to reply to all "I still haven`t gotten my period."
My boss yelled at me today “It’s the fifth time you’ve been late to work this week! Do you know what that means?!” I said, “Probably that it’s Friday?"...
Friday the 13th is still better than Monday the whatever.