Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I am so thankful there is no alert that tells someone how many times I have enlarged their profile pics.
How long do I have to sleep before I`m legally a bear?
That kid looks like me. Somebody should warn him.
Anytime my boss leaves her office, I sneak in there and fart.
I`ve said it before and I`ll say it again, if you drive a Nissan but don`t call it Liam then what is even the point of you
My friends says that I spend too much time talking to random people online. What do you guys think?
Sometimes I`ll go out in public and socialize with people, those times are called alibis.
My career plans were much more exciting when I was 5
I`ll take an ice cream sandwich please. You know what? I`m trying to be healthy, can you change that to an ice cream salad instead? Thanks
I`ve started an exercise program. I do 20 sit-ups each morning. That may not sound like a lot, but you can only hit that snooze button so many times.
Hey, sorry I`m late ... I didn`t want to come
Talking bout planets with my 8 yr old. He asked if you can just plow thru Uranus because it`s all gas. I cannot respond maturely.
One dog was admiring another dog`s leash, and said, "I admire your restraint."
Now that cell phones are becoming more and more waterproof, pretty soon it will be okay to push people into pools again...
I bet guys that work at strip clubs are "hard" workers...