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I inboxed a girl on Facebook and she never replied. I guess you could say we`re `seen` each other.
Insanity means never having to say “I’m Guilty”.
Either my cooking’s improved or my family’s immune systems have strengthened.
Hold that pose. My camera is ringing.
I met a girl who told me that she broke up with her last boyfriend because he just didn`t work out. Which is when I knew, she wasn`t the one for me, as I hate to work out as well.
Guys, Everyone. Listen. I`m going to say two words that will change your lives. Pizza Tacos. I know. Just breath.
People are so weird. You reach under the bathroom stall to tie their shoes and they freak out instead of saying thanks.
I use awkward numerical range description anywhere between 13 and 4 times a day.
Sometimes I order fajitas at a restaurant just to get more attention.
I’m “had to actually call a girl on the home phone to ask her out while hoping my mom didn’t pick up and start dialing” years old.
I overheard this guy bragging about his fancy hotel sweet. Ptttsht. They are nothing but cheap a$$ mints!
Dear future husband, here’s a few things you need to know If you want to be my one and only all my life. I will not be an ex wife .. only a widow
Strip search? ... Fine, but I`m going to need some background music.
My wife just changed here facebook status from "Married" to "widowed", should I be scared?
A murderer was about to be put to death in the electric chair. "Do you have any last requests?" asked the chaplain. "One," he replied. "Will you hold my hand?"