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I often wonder how things worked out for that guy who grabbed the bull by the horns.
Who has time to monitor followers/unfollowers? I can barely keep track of my kids and I only have 1 of those ... Wait ... Two. I have 2 kids.
I’m “had to actually call a girl on the home phone to ask her out while hoping my mom didn’t pick up and start dialing” years old.
What kind of wine goes best with laundry?
Tip for women; All men really want is to be close to someone who will leave them the hell alone.
Did the Baha Men ever find their dogs? Did they put up posters or just sing that song?
I’m glad we don’t have to hunt for our food any more. I don’t even know where sandwiches live...
The internet...turning cowards into tough guys daily.
Got a new blood pressure monitor, says it turns off after 6 minutes of inactivity .....
The secret of enjoying a good wine: 1) Open the bottle to allow it to breathe. 2) if it does not look like it`s breathing give it mouth-to_mouth
How’s your day going? Here’s a good way to tell: Is it “already” 2:00pm or “only” 2:00pm?
Dear iPhone, Please stop changing my rude words into nice ones. You piece of shut.
My car broke down outside Pizza Hut last night. So I ordered a pizza to be delivered to my house and got a lift from the driver.
LSD makes users lose weight ... That makes sense. It`s kinda hard to get to the fridge when there`s a dragon guarding it.
Handy tip for new parents : Wake up your baby by gently resting your head on a pillow.