Mobile App Coming Soon - Daily Silly Status

Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

I just saw a hot mom at McDonalds spank her kid after he threw his fries on the ground, so I threw my fries on the ground too.
Why is it called "Alien vs Predator"? Isn`t predator an alien too? They should`ve just called it "Some Aliens"
Today is different because after you lie to someone, you tell them you were lying.
ASKHOLE: A person who constantly ask for your advice, yet always does the opposite of what you told them
Being rich doesn`t equal happiness but i`d rather cry in a ferrari
Thanks to the State Farm commercial now I want a Falcon.
I’ll stop being so lazy when being so lazy stops being so awesome.
The Internet: 1% information 1% jokes 98% outrage over information and jokes
Teamwork means never having to take all the blame yourself.
Dear person reading this, just want you to know that someone cares about you. It`s not me, but I`m sure someone does...
There are two types of people...don`t worry you are not one of them.
If I was famous I would just knock on peoples doors and be like ... Hello, yes it`s me.
Some girls post the most depressing love sh!t that even I`m starting to miss their ex!!!
Don`t judge a person for drinking; judge a person for not drinking. Those f*ckers are up to something.
This ad says: "3 out of 5 smokers die" Apparently the other 2 become immortal.