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I worry about what my rubber ducky thinks about me when I`m naked 0.0
Never trust a skinny chef
I wonder if more children were conceived because of alcohol or more alcohol was consumed because of children.
I accidentally shoveled the sidewalk all the way to the bar again.
If you’re having second thoughts, you’re two ahead of most people.
Thanks for posting another selfie. I completely forgot what you looked like 24 hours ago.
I would of read and liked your status if it wasn`t like 3 pages long.
I eat my Chinese food just like any other American, with chopsticks, one grain of rice at a time.
Got a new Juicer. Going to Juice all these delicious organic vegetables I got ... then add Vodka ... Don`t judge...
Beach people are fickle. One minute you`re the loser with a bucket of cold fries and the next they`re terrified of the Lord of Seagulls.
You know you had an awesome night when you need sunglasses to get food out the fridge.
I had a bit of a lazy day sitting in my underwear looking for jobs online. My boss was furious.
A spider just tried to crawl across my hand and now how do you extract a fork from bone without causing more damage?
There are only 53 days until Christmas... just a heads-up in case you haven`t shopped for me yet.
gua suka sama kamu