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I thought about going outside and doing something today but my Wi-Fi really doesn’t reach very far.
Wednesday, you’d be a lot cooler if you were Friday night.
Having children is a fantastic source of free labor.
is spending my children´s inheritance.
Cant imagine the look on Obamas face when he saw `Olympus Has Fallen`..His next quote would have been.."No more Taiwans in the secret Elevetor office"
I`m going to go take a hot shower, it`s like a normal shower but with me in it
Figure it out people. It’s a 4-way stop sign not a woman.
Hate having friends? Just chew with your mouth open.
My brother didnt take kindly to jail. He refused food & drink, and smeared feces on the walls. That`s the last time we`re playing Monopoly.
Guys you should never overreact when you hear the words, " The babysitter is late."
that an iPhone 6+ in your pocket? Or are you just happy to see me?
The best thing about having male genitals is sharing it with people who don`t.
Been reading up on the thesaurus lately because a mind is a terrible thing to garbage.
This book on marriage says treat your wife like you treated her on the first date, so after dinner tonight I am dropping her off at her parents` house
Whoever said paper beats rock is an idiot. Next time that happens, I`m gonna throw a rock at them while they hold up a sheet of paper.