Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Mowed the lawn yesterday with my shirt off and this morning there were 50 shirts left on my porch with a sign that said, "Please wear."
Girls think that having their period is the most inconvenient thing they can experience. They`ve obviously never dated a girl who was on her period.
There`s a difference between having a unique name and a common name that`s spelled wrong.
It`s kind of funny how so many people think that being gay is a choice but being fat isn`t
I might be a day late and a dollar short, but it is still my personal best.
I told the monster in my closet that coming out of there would make him gay. Ha!!,,That solves that problem.
You know what else looks like a ring and has lots of power over people? Donuts.
Nothing in the world is more expensive than a women who’s free for the weekend
I`d like to eat healthy, but we all know what happened that time Eve ate an apple. Best not to risk it.
I came home from the gym today staggering and sweating after pushing my body to the limit ... And all I did was sign up.
Even atheists make bargains with God when the toilet water threatens to overflow at a friend`s house.
The closest I`ve ever come to eating better is eating butter.
I just don`t understand why Flo from Progressive needs to have an apron on to sell car insurance.
Those days where you don`t take anyone`s sh!t ... Yeah, today is one of those days.
I already know that I`m going to hell ... At this point it`s really go big or go home.