Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I always read my girlfriend’s horoscope to see what kind of day I’m going to have.
thinks whoever said, "All men are created equal", obviously has never been to a nude beach!!
There are dozens of different flavors of ramen noodles, but they all taste like poverty and loneliness.
Black Friday, because after a day of thankfully stuffing your face, you deserve a deal on purchases you don’t need.
I saw a baby wearing a bib that said, “This dumbass put my cape on backwards”
Where does Peter Pan have his lunch? At Wendy`s.
There is a 100% chance that I’ve called some of the most wonderful people in the world the most horrible things imaginable while in traffic.
Maybe the cost of a barrel of oil wouldn’t be so expensive if Donkey Kong didn’t waste thousands of them in the `80s throwing them at Mario.
I’m in no shape to exercise.
Vegetarian is an old Native American word for bad hunter.
Why did the Fresh Prince have to take a cab anyways? How sh!tty was that family that no one would pick him up from the airport?
Do you ever think if people heard our conversations they`d lock us up?
I guess I prefer Subway because they make me feel like I`m making the healthy decision when I order a loaf of bread with 18 meatballs on it.
Golf is finally starting to pay off. I just signed a contract with Nike for a large sum of money in return for agreeing never to be seen playing with any of their equipment.
How many exercise/workout videos does a person have to buy before seeing results?