Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I bet anyone who`s had to fight a bear has snuck at least one hug in
Premature ejaculation and hide and seek have one thing in common. 1 2 3 ready or not here I come.
What I learned from Titanic was that you need to have sex as soon as possilble with the person you like cause you never know what might happen.
I don`t just sing in my shower, I perform.
"Everybody freeze!" -December
Yeah, you go ahead and climb that mountain "because it`s there", I am going to eat this Pizza "because it`s here"................................
The iPhone 5S: Because the NSA wants your thumbprint now too.
I found out last night that the only thing worse than waking up 3 times to pee is sleeping right through it.
I need a leaf blower, but for people.
He who laughs last didn´t get it.
Lately, my furnace has run so much I nicknamed it "Forest".
I snuck popcorn into the movie theater but they won’t let me use their microwave.
Behind every good selfie is approximately 47 nearly identical pictures that didn`t make the cut.
Man cannot live on bread alone ... hence beer and stuff.
I wanna lie on the floor and not think for a month or two.