Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
The majority of life`s greatest lessons are learned while observing your drunk friends.
I would order delivery more often, but I just can`t stand lowering the drawbridge.
I`m so hungry I could Instagram a horse.
It makes me sad that so many women feel like they have to wear makeup and clothes.
Mary, mary quit contrary, watched their garden thrive. The cops found seed of a very odd weed; Now they`s doing three to five.
Boss: Where`s the progress report I asked u for. Me: I haven`t made any progress, that`s my report! - What I imagine it`d be like if I had a job
Just in case you are wondering ... I did not go to Jared.
People who say 45 minutes past the hour must be the same ones who have kids 89 and 63 month olds
Oh well, this time isn`t going to procrastinate itself.
I like to walk around the house naked. Until the cops chase me back inside.
I`ve officially reached the point in my life where the trash goes out on Friday nights way more often than I do.
Burned almost a thousand calories with the elliptical machine today. Moved it into the basement, that thing is heavy!
In the 60`s we took LSD to make the world look wierd. Now the world is weird and we take Prozac to make it look normal.
I`m Not Perfect. Your Not Perfect. But Together We Can Be a Perfect Sense of Humor LOL!
On a scale from 0 to insane I`m batman