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WARNING. Content on my Facebook page may offend. But I don`t f*cking care
My Therapist told me not to drink while I`m on my Meds but little does she know...I`ve been off my Meds for almost a week now!
We should have staff meetings in the garden. The plants would love the fertilizer.
What do sleeping and sex have in common? ... I`m not getting nearly enough of either.
Why isn’t “cheating” a relationship status on Facebook?
Apparently "Fat Tuesday" doesn´t constitue telling fatties they´re fatties.
Don`t act like your not impressed.
I was in a taxi and the driver said "I love my job. I`m my own boss and nobody tells me what to do!" I said "That`s really great, now take a left here."
A new study says eating sugar will kill you and was conducted by the No Sh!t Sherlock Research Institute.
If you`re camping and you have WiFi, you`re not camping.
A house is not a home until you can find all light switches in the dark.
Sometimes I think I`m pretty cool but then I remember plants can eat sun and poop out air.
People would probably piss me off a lot less if I was allowed to drive a tank.
Is it weird that I`m 43 years old and have a secret handshake with 3 adults.....and my dog?
The term "chubby chasers" is so inaccurate and misleading. Cause we don`t run.