Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Why do they always have 5K runs for charity? Just once, couldn’t they have a sit for charity or nap for charity?
The sun isn`t the only thing that rises in the morning...if you know what I mean ;)
I take comfort in the fact that my neighbour will probably die before me. I`ll be at his funeral, leafblowing through the entire ceremony.
Doing the moonwalk is the only way to look cool while wiping dog crap off your shoes.
I have never faked a sarcasm in my entire life!
I thought I was losing weight, but it turned out my sweatpants had come untied.
If you work on a farm and your job is to take care of chickens, you are a chicken tender.
Would people still go to the gym if Instagram didn`t exist?
The baby gets furious when I try to undress him. Must get that from his mother.
Is professional lollygagger an actual job yet?
I`m no expert, but I would guess the internet really affected encyclopedia sales.
My 6 year old found the duct tape and now nothing in my house moves.
You`d think the self checkout lanes would have more mirrors.
Next time I`m on an elevator with four or more strangers, I`m going to turn around and say, "I`m sure you`re wondering why I`ve gathered you all here."
A compromise is an agreement whereby both parties get what neither of them wanted.