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Here`s an idea...You go away and I`ll stop ignoring you.
I swear, if my memory gets any worse I’ll be able to plan my own surprise party.
Just because they sell yoga pants in XXL doesn`t mean it`s ok to wear them in public.
Reasons why I never let my girlfriend touch my phone. 1. I don`t have a girlfriend.
I don’t understand why I cant lose weight. I thought dieting was a piece of cake.
I could of sworn my pillow`s a hairdreeser...coz I always wake up with the craziest hairstyles!! :D
I hope I can still remember the dance to Thriller when I become a Zombie.
I bet my church never imagined it was even possible to twerk to Amazing Grace.
Overheard at grocery: Paper or plastic, sir? Doesn’t matter. Im bisacksual.
So far my only real accomplishment in life has been not having kids.
Would the 2 Sonic dudes just get it over with and kiss already
If you want to take a bank teller out on a date, just ask her. Don`t slip her a note at the window. Trust me on this.
Lets all take a minute and realize the lack of creativity in the name "fire place"
I`d rather be someone`s shot of whiskey than everyone`s cup of tea.
There are 10 types of people in the world, Those that understand binary, and those who don`t.