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twinkle twinkle little star ... point me to the nearest bar.
Another day where I`m not skinny, rich or famous. Getting real tired of this sh*t.
I’ve been a sucker for boobies since the day I was born.
I`ll call it a "smart phone" the day I yell, "Where`s my freaking phone?!" and it answers, "I`m here! Under your jacket!"
My phone battery lasts longer than relationships these days
Keep talking; someday you’ll say something intelligent.
Apparently there is no age limit on ignorance.
How about a ceiling fan with brakes so I don`t have to stand there for 10 seconds wondering if I actually turned it off.
I`m not sure but I think the family from Honey Boo Boo is just a family of bears that were shaved down and shown how to sh!t indoors.
It`s not that I`m judging you, but you hung your toilet roll the wrong way and I just think it best if we never spoke again.
People who go rock climbing: you know you don`t have to, right
The difference between me & normal people is the normal
Just assume that we aren’t close enough for you to send me a game invites on Facebook.
Went to Walmart yesterday and bought me a new toilet brush, I think I am gonna go back to using paper, it is much more gentle on the netherlands........
If something`s worth doing, it`s worth doing rihgt.