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That awkward moment when there`s not a single awkward moment
Tomorrow is International "Cook a Steak and Then Throw It to a Seagull" Day. Get involved. Don`t question it.
I`ll act my age when I`m 69..
You can`t lick any part of your reflection except your tongue.
I log off because I`m bord... I log on 5min later because I`m bord
I`m feeling about as useful as a stoplight in Grand Theft Auto.
I hate it when people like their own statuses * At this point you like your status for dramatic effect*
Guy test! find the nearest guy by you and repeat to him the following slowly: Door knob, Titanic, Gluestick, Kiwi, Opra Winfey, Shovel, Boobs, Remote, Battery, Furby, Glowstick, Beer, & Xbox. NOW ask him what he remembers before "Boobs"
Be nice to nerds. You`ll probably be working for them one day
I`ve found the most effective way to get an attractive guy to fall for me is by simply using my charm... and then a stun gun.
Fact: Pornos aren`t based on actual events.
Just completed my sexual harassment training and I think I`m finally ready to start harassing people.
I`m holding cheerleader tryouts for my fantasy football team
I am not retreating! I am advancing in a different direction!
First rule of Pizza club, you don’t share it.