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Everyone has their area of expert knowledge.... if any of you need tips on how to do absolutely nothing amazingly well, let me know.
Karma is like a rubber-band: it can only stretch so far before it comes back and smacks you in the face.
Bought some cheese at one of those fancy cheese shops today. It was legend dairy...
Nothing in the world is more expensive than a women who’s free for the weekend.
Don`t sweat the small stuff. Don`t sweat the medium or large stuff either. Stop perspiring on everything. Take your sweaty a$$ elsewhere.
What if God is a woman. Not only will I be going to Hell, but I`ll never hear the end of it.
If you ever feel sad remember that there’s a number you can call and a pizza will be there in 30 minutes.
you have lips ….. i have lips …… interesting
When the nurse calls my name at the doctor’s office, I like to run through the waiting room like I got called on The Price is Right.
I see you posted a photograph of snow with the caption "it`s cold" could you tell me more about that
I don’t have nightmares... I create them for others ;-)
I`m sick and tired of people telling me to turn off lights to save the environment. I tried it once, and I nearly killed some guy on a bike.
is not rude...I just wasn`t taught to politely pretend to be nice to people I can`t stand.
My last thought in life will probably be ” I wonder what happens if I touch this?”
"YOU WANNA TAKE THIS OUTSIDE!?" I yell to my husband as I hand him the trash.