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When we are small, our mom`s would use really small forks as spoons to feed us...But what about Chinese moms? Would they use toothpicks?
Ask your doctor if walking blindly into traffic is right for you
It`s hard to make your coffee when you haven`t had your coffee.
I think its nice my vacuum cleaner has head lights. Just in case I wanna wake up in the middle of the night and clean in the dark, or wake up my dog making him think he’s getting hit by a
Pet stores should post "Chameleon" on empty reptile cages just to see how long people would stand and look.
So, if I lie to the government, it’s a felony. But if they lie to me its politics?
The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a flat tire.
Never fight anyone who bows to you first.
I can read your mind, your thinking about sex right now, no wait, wait.. that`s my mind, sorry, I can read my mind. . .
Love is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.
I`ve found a new coping mechanism....................COOKIES!
It makes me sad that the closest I`ll ever get to `hulking out` is splitting my trousers when I bend over.
Youth is wasted on the young.
I just wanna find a girl who loves me for my money. That way I wouldn`t feel bad for loving her for her body.
The voices in my head are not real, but they have good ideas.