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Roses are red! violets are buckets. This poem makes no sense. Snot.
Cats have been named the #1 pet held hostage by lonely women.
Writing "Omg you guys are still friends after what she said about you???" on every group photo of girls I see on Instagram
You just dont know how dumb you are until you get a little smarter
My favorite part of country music is the part where I change the station.
If you have fewer than 25 FB friends. Please unfriend me because thats just embarassing and I dont want to be on your "loser" list.
Time to be an adult and give up my bath time rubber ducky. I´m upgrading to the tugboat!
"I want to marry a smart, rich, and beautiful woman. But I don`t feel like getting married 3 times." - Hesam Ebrahim
Ladies and Gentleman, I`ve traveled a long way, crossed many bridges, fought my way through countless obstacles, all to bring you this one sad truth about life. There`s never enough beer.
If idiots could fly this place would be an airport.
It`s been an exhausting day of pretending I`m a pleasant person.
Something tells me that girl with the word "Princess" tattooed on her neck isn`t really Royalty.
For an "adult" bookstore, this place has a LOT of picture books
You know that greener grass you see over there? You do realize it`s because they fertilize it with bullsh!t right?
Whoever named anteaters, solid effort right there.