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Screw it, I’m starting Friday now.
Don`t be afraid to laugh at yourself you could be missing out on the joke of the century.
If I had a dollar for every time I got suspicious… I’d wonder who the f&*k was paying me, and why?
Normal trees probably look at Christmas trees all dolled up and think .. "Whore"
When I die, I want people to say, "That guy owed me a lot of money"
The way I figure it, whatever doesn’t kill me has lost it’s chance.
Imagine how much faster Olympic sprinters could run if they saw their wives going through their phones at the finish line
I bought a box of "SO CALLED" Hot Pockets --- brought them home, and opened one to eat it, and the Damned thing was FROZEN ----- Miis-Advertizing at it`s BEST!!! Now what do I do with the Damned thing???? :-P
This goes out to the person who thought of the idea to put stickers on each and every piece of fruit. "Nobody like`s your idea"
This recliner and I go way back.
I`ve decided!! I’m giving up my New Years resolutions for Lent.
Apparently, my wife has friend zoned me...
Fun Prank: Put $1000 in an envelope and mail it to me.
Women say all men are dogs, but fail to realize that dogs are the most loyal creatures in the world if you treat them right.
Drank way too much beer last night. Didn`t leave any for this morning.