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I’m beginning to believe that successful relationships come down to Netflix compatibility.
Welcome back to plastic surgery anonymous. Nice to see so many new faces here today.
Your eyes are so beautiful. If you look deep enough i can see my own reflection...
Don`t you just hate it when people say stuff in thier status that you really didn`t want to know? I hate that. Anyway, I gotta go poop. Talk to ya later.
My hatred for Nicki Minaj probably stems from my fear of clowns.
Rubix cubes are EASY....when you`re color blind.
Someday we’ll look back on all this and pretend not to remember it.
I put a pair of boots in the bathroom stall at work so nobody else will use the stall that I like to use.
How did the inventor of the clock know what time it was?
Scientists are adding an extra second to the year 2015. Yeah. Here`s the bad news. You just wasted it reading this post.
My neighbor was singing in the shower again this morning. I didn’t mind though as I can`t hear anything through the telescope.
Sometimes bigger is just heavier
Porn is a lot like yoga pants. Not everybody should be in them.
I`m surprised people still ask me if I want to hold their baby given the number of times I`ve dropped my phone.
Do you ever get the feeling that you`re being watched? Because if it`s bothering you, I`ll stop.