Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
My friend named her female dog Karma... Karmas a bitch.
I called one of those numbers in the bathroom stall and my wife answered. Very funny guys.
To the guys complaining about lack of sex from their woman: supply & demand. Supply better product, they`ll demand it more. -Bfanch
Thought I had $707 in my bank account, turns out it was "LOL" and I was holding my statement upside down.
Every-time I run I hear Mario Brothers theme song in my head, and look for things to jump over.
There are dozens of different flavors of ramen noodles, but they all taste like poverty and loneliness.
Follow your dreams. Unless it’s a person. ..apparently they call THAT stalking.
woman belong in the kitchen? thats where the knives are you fool.
There should be an energy drink named 6 AM child
Today is the first day of the rest of my Vodka.
So the state trooper said "I`ve been following you with my lights flashing for three miles. Why didn`t you pull over?" and I said "Well, a few years ago my wife ran away with a state trooper and I was worried that you were trying to return her."
I may or may not have just "Whipped my Hair Back and Forth".......
Dear Stomach: You`re bored, not hungry. Shut up.
have you ever noticed `lol` looks like a drowning person?
So apparently putting Alkaseltzer in my pocket while I`m getting baptized and pretending I`m the devil is not funny.