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Falling in love is lot like dying, you never get to do it enough to become good at it.
Everyone has their area of expert knowledge.... if any of you need tips on how to do absolutely nothing amazingly well, let me know.
I thought 70 was the new 50, but the cop still gave me a ticket.
One of the major benefits of using a combined 2 in 1 shampoo/conditioner is having enough room leftover on the shower caddy for the beer.
Rappers seem to have an unhealthy interest in female dogs, don`t they?
Men are like lottery tickets. Very exciting at first, until you scratch away the surface to reveal the loser beneath.
You can`t make me believe there`s a shortage of jobs in this country when there are 23 cash registers at WalMart and only 3 cashiers.
Why isn’t our beer color coordinated for all holiday occasions, instead of just St. Patricks Day?
is pondering why people have a favorite color M&M when they all taste the same!
Reason number 347 why I hate Facebook: A guy from high school posted 11 new photos all with the caption "me"
MY MISSION IS COMPLETE!!! I have successfully wasted a little bit of your time today :) carry on!
Is running in front of cars some sort of gang initiation for squirrels? - Bfanch
If you`re "just sayin", then just shut the hell up.
It`s the little things in life that count, like pills.
i just opened a fortune cookie and it started with the word unfortuneatly