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Parallel lines have so much in common, it`s a shame they`ll never meet
I`m late on the give thanks every day in November thing... so let me catch up. Days 1-22. I`m thankful for boobs
So far my bracket is perfect! I can`t wait to fill the rest of it in.
I love my six pack so much, I protect it with a layer of fat.
Sometimes I sit and wonder what the world would be like if I wasn`t awesome ... That would be scary.
I like to go to a strangers house tell them you used to live there and that your grandfather hid money somewhere in the house and just leave.
I`ve got a Tootsie Pop and seven hours until the aviary notices their Spotted Owl is missing. Let`s do this!
Answering your cell when you don`t recognize the number is like picking up a hitchhiker.
I wish I was full of tacos instead of feelings.
I may look calm, but in my head I´ve punched you in the face 3 times already!
Moral compass? Is there an app for that?
You know you’re getting old when you have to have a drink to motivate you to go out & have a drink.
I’m not always rude. Sometimes I’m sleeping.
"Oh!Look The Smurfs Grew Up!"Grandma those are Avatars." -_-
is ready to have one too many!