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I won`t be impressed with technology until I can download food.
I`ll bet other dogs must think that poodles belong to some weird religious cult.
According to the U.S. Census Bureau: 190,374 people are having sex right now, 212,130 are kissing, and 1 poor person is reading this post. You hang in there!
A poem about me: I hate mornings. I wish I was drunk. The End.
All this time I thought Bi-Polar was a big white bear with no sexual preference.
My number one rule to live by is: Don’t die.
Today`s Generation: "Omg my parents never let me have anything." via iPhone
I totally understand how batteries feel because I`m never included in things either
Imagine how creepy the first guy to dress up as a clown must have been, where in hell did he get that idea?
I bet giraffes don`t even know what farts smell like.
what happends when chemists pass away...We Barium.
Girlfriend: No, you hang up... Me: (click)
No means no! Unless she`s dyslexic; then it`s on!
That awkward moment when you gently throw your phone onto your bed and it decides to bounce off 3 walls, Knock over a lamp, and kill a cat.
Saw a chameleon today, so I`m assuming it wasn`t a very good one.