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How come when a girl has sex with everyone she`s a slut but when a guy has sex with everyone he`s my boyfriend
I don’t understand how people have to “get ready for bed”…I’m always ready for bed.
So,do people in England speaks American now that people in America speaks English?
once a homeless guy said to me `Hey you got a dollar` and I said `wow your absolutely right..with psychic powers like that I`m surprised your still homeless` got in my car and left..
I saw a chameleon today. I guess it was a pretty crappy chameleon.
I have learned that pleasing everyone is impossible…but pissing everyone off is easy and fun as hell!
I’m not shy, I’m just really good out figuring out who is not worth talking to.
I went to Jared for my girlfriend`s Christmas gift. I`m sure she will love her Subway gift card.
Sleep is for people with no internet connection.
What do bats eat that makes their sh!t our standard for crazy?
You know there was a time in my life where I just didn`t give a f#ck.....funny how it seems that much hasn`t changed from an hour ago!!
Relationship status: Just got screamed at for peeling the carrots wrong.
The reason swans mate for life is because they don`t talk.
Dr. Oz says having 1/2 hour of sex is equivalent to running 6 miles. I guess I`m going to the gym today.
I can always tell when I`m drunk. I tend to drop things...like my standards