Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
It has been brought to my attention that those stick figure decals on vehicles are not "kill" scores, but actually suppose to represent members of the family. I will be removing all my decals to avoid any further confusion.
Going to McDonalds for a salad is like going to a prostitute for a hug
My mother was feeling cold so now I`m wearing a sweater.
Who cares about throwing stones? How do people in glass houses hide when somebody knocks on the door?
The best part about having an old VW is driving down the road and watching people punch the sh!t out of each other.
I saw this wino, he was eating grapes. I was like "Dude, you have to wait."
Nice meeting you, but I forgot your name as soon as you said it...
Shake up a random soda pop in the company fridge today. You deserve it.
Don`t expect me not to hopscotch all over your house if you have fancy tiles.
Do you ever think if people heard our conversations they`d lock us up?
If I had a dollar for every time I thought about you... I would start thinking about you.
I’m posing nude for an art class this evening. Nobody asked me to. I think they’re making ceramic bowls.
That urge you get to write "No one gives a sh!t" on someone`s status..
thinks that life was a lot simpler when I thought girls had cooties, and getting to the bottom of the sandbox was a good day.
Anyone else pretend to work all day while thinking about big boobs instead?