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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

I wish I could google the things I’ve misplaced.
I poured some shampoo over my speakers today and they blew up... So much for EXTRA VOLUME.
Children fill a void in your life that you never knew existed. And promptly destroy everything else.
It would be cool if you heard a thunder bug a few seconds after you saw a lightning bug.
I live for two reasons. 1) I was born. 2) I haven`t died yet.
I`m working out my budget and, provided I don`t live past Tuesday, I can retire relatively comfortably!!!
Facebook needs a "settle down" button.. You tap on a friend`s profile, that locks them out for a day so they can work through stuff privately..
Don`t forget to turn your clocks back today if you want them to be set to the wrong time.
At the Touch of Love..Everyone Becomes a Poet ! But..At the Touch of Breakup Everyone Becomes a Philosopher... ^_^
Porn is a lot like yoga pants. Not everybody should be in them.
I`ve officially met everyone`s mother yesterday via Facebook so I`m pretty sure that takes me out of the friend zone here ladies
homework wont kill me, but why take the risk!
I just realized that I haven`t done the "Hockey Pokey" in over 10 years. I guess when you get older, you just forget what it`s all about.
After Monday and Tuesday... even the week says WTF!
"Iyam A. Wii Todd" <-- Bet you can say that name out loud, in a crowded place, and really fast!