Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
condoms prevent minivans
9 out of 10 husbands agree that their wives are always right. The 10th one hasn`t been seen since the study was conducted.
I didn´t outsmart you. You just outdumbed me.
I asked my mom for money and she said "Does it look like I am made of money?" I said "Well isn`t that what M.O.M stands for?"
RUN? I thought you said Rum. I quit.
I assume people with dark tinted windows pick their nose more aggressively than the rest of us.
I have a tremendous sex drive ... My girlfriend lives 25 miles away.
A leaf blower, but for people.
drink beer ?? save water
If Monday was a movie, it would be very long and boring.
I`m going to start tackling random guys in football jerseys saying "look how he`s dressed. He was asking for it!"
I have company coming, does a spork go on the right or left side?
I hate it when I fill my blowup doll with helium and then she plays hard to get...
Let’s just call a vacation what it is: the opportunity to live like an alcoholic for a little while.
ATM`s need to have breathalyzers.