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in 2014 there were times when I annoyed you, disturbed you, irritated you and bugged the hell out of you. Today i wanna let you know that i planned to continue with it this year :-)
My brain is giving me the silent treatment today.
If they put beer in CapriSun pouches I could fit a lot more in my cooler. Just thought I`d throw that out there, people who invent sh!t.
Everyone has that one friend that can turn any conversation into something dirty....I am usually that friend.
Never do anything that you wouldn’t want to explain to the paramedics.
They say that you are what we eat. This means that I am cheap, easy and ready in 2 minutes!
I think my smart phone is making fun of me behind my back.
People are way less judgmental when you say you had an "avocado salad" instead of saying you ate a bowl of guacamole.
Home is where a man hangs his hat. Unless that man is wearing a sun visor. Then he probably dosent have a home or friends..
ready for bed - gunna give my sheets some arse and my pillows head;]
The only honest people in the world are small children and me after a couple cocktails.
It would be so cool to be able to see an album of all the pictures you’ve accidentally photobombed in public.
I’m trying to read a book about how to relax, but I keep falling asleep
Next time you`re down in the dumps...pick me up a spare tire!
When someone tells you they`re playing a STD game... But you later realise they were talking about Spot The Difference.