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They say in the near future computers will become more intelligent than people, really, the near future? I walk down the street and see girls who struggle with the difference between orange and tanned, guys who have no idea how a belt works, and all of them with less language skills then the average trained chimp. Computers? Hell I’ve got an alarm clock that’s smarter than most of them right now.
Of course it`s you....there`s no f*cking way it`s me.
It`s actually pretty impressive how many poor decisions I can fit in a day.
My fake plant died because I didn`t pretend to water it
The sight of naked cleavage reduces a man`s ability to reason by 50% ... Per boob.
I put a dollar in one of those change machines once. Nothing changed.
Why doesn’t McDonalds have an order taking microphone on both sides of the car, yet?
I like my relationships like I like my eggs: over easy.
When I drink alcohol.. everyone says I`m an alcoholic. But.. When I drink Fanta.. no one says I`m fantastic.
I think I’m allergic to mornings.
People that are organized are just too lazy to look for things.
I`m a compulsive liar. Every thing I say is a lie. And that`s the truth.
Ohio - High in the middle, and round at the ends.
Not to brag, but, I`ve already consumed 174% of my daily fat requirement.
The weather is so nice. I think I’ll go outside and watch other people run.