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A lot of people don`t realise that Shania Twain`s father, Mark, was actually a pretty good writer.
I do whatever the little voices tell me to do.
We can`t deny our basic human instincts, like automatically thinking we kind of already know how to play the harmonica whenever we hold one.
Checked a lot off my thought-about-doing-today list.
I walked into the bar sober with $42 & walked out drunk with $42. But you`re right fellas, men are smarter than women.
wishes life would hand me lemons especially today.. that way I`d have something to throw at the people that are pissing me off
I have a life outside of internet, it involves charging my phone.
Never send in a beer to do the work of a tequila shot.
Just a friendly reminder, there are a minimum of three spiders in your room at all times. Goodnight...
Whenever you feel sad, just remember that somewhere in this world there`s an idiot pulling a door that says "PUSH"..
“Dad, I’m hungry.” “Hi, Hungry. I’m Dad.” - Every time.
Every time I`m about to win an argument with my wife, someone wakes me up...
People who think only God can judge them have obviously never met my mother-in-law.
The early bird gets the worm! So does the late bird. They all get worms all the time; there`s tons of those things. Relax, there will always be a lota worms......
Of course I know right from wrong. Wrong is the fun one.