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According to my neighbor’s journal, I have boundary issues.
Didn’t have internet on my phone for the past few hours. Finally graduated, got married, lost some weight, read 17 books and showered.
I took a poll recently, and 100% of strippers were angry they had nothing to dance on.
I just found out that a bucket of KFC when you`re finished with it, also doubles as a porta-potty...
A new study suggests that a future study will completely contradict this study.
Look for my new diet book: "How To Work Out And Watch What You Eat And Still Gain Plenty Of Weight"
I`m a firm believer that if something takes 10 minutes to cook on 200 degrees then it should only take 5 minutes to cook on 400 degrees
I just got a piece of mail that says "open immediately" but I`m gonna wait a few minutes.
I feel like landlords who don’t allow dogs but DO allow children don’t know very much about children.
Q: What is the best thing God ever created? A: The vagina. Q: What was the worst thing God ever did? A: Put women in charge of them.
is it rude to throw a breath-mint in someone`s mouth while they are talking?
Marriage is just a fancy word for adopting an overgrown man child who can`t take care of himself.
Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance… The five stages of waking up.
If at first you don’t succeed, look in the trash for the instructions
This isn`t a bakery. We don`t sugarcoat sh!t