Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Hey, somebody get ready to wake up the guy in Green Day.
thinks there are times when your the most beautiful girl in the world, and there are times when I’m sober.
I want rich people problems. Like where to park my yacht.
The circus may no longer come to town but at least we’re guaranteed to always see a few clowns in Washington.
If you sneeze near an atheist, they just say "science appreciates you".
I think salads help you lose weight because they`re gross and you end up not eating them
Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday.
For someone who can`t put on a pair of socks without falling over, I sure do manage to get a lot done every day.
Due to an unforeseen error during last night`s love making session I am forced to wear non matching socks today
I`m angrier than a waitress forced to sing happy birthday
It only takes a few seconds to show someone how you feel about them,The police call it indecent exposure but whatever...
I wonder how the Never-ending story is doing.
To avoid conversations at work, always walk with purpose and a toilet plunger.
Like a good neighbor,I don`t really care.
Being handed a flyer is the offline version of a pop-up ad.