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I am going to write a book about A.D.D., because .. I love fishing. -LOL
I wish I could have the Price Is Right audience around whenever I`m making important life decisions.
Why is it called a "personal trainer", instead of an "exercist"?
Law and Order is just Blue`s Clues for adults.
I would of never even thought of touching half the things that I`ve touched, if it weren`t for the "Do not touch" signs!
I am Bad and thats Good. I will never be Good and thats not Bad. There`s no one i`d rather be than ME.
You can run from your problems. Unless your problem is a cheetah.
I can`t be the only one who thinks "Game on, mother f*cker" when I see an air freshner in a bathroom.
U still drunk from last night or did u get a new buzz going this morning.
shoutout to people who have money but still order off the dollar menu
I`m sending a whole bunch of emails to random Nigerians letting them know they`ve won the Canadian lottery.
The best nights are those when it never crosses your mind to update your Facebook status.
You know those adorable idiosyncrasies you loved about your spouse when first dating? Well, after 10 years of marriage they become what the police refer to as "motive".
Hell, I finally figured out what was wrong with me ... I have been reading the wrong horoscope!!
Why does it have to be bacon OR sausage?