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"You only live once. LOL JK!" ~ the cat
Does anyone know how much water I`m supposed to add to this baby powder, to make an infant?
I feel like there should be more breakfast beers on the market.
(Apocalyptic world) "Well guys......there goes our last female"
I know she`s talking about rain but I don`t like hearing my mom say she got 6 inches
Dear paranoid people who check behind their shower curtains for murderers, If you do find one, what`s your plan? ;)
Mary Had a Little Lamb, Little Lamb, Little Lamb. Maybe she wasn`t that hungry.
Lets watch a reality show about nasty rednecks acting like rednecks, but get mad when one of them says something a redneck would say
I knew I was going to jail when I yanked at the cop pants and they didn`t tear away ..
Quick question, ladies: If you shave your eyebrows off and then draw them back on, what the hell are you doing?
On a scale from 0 to insane I`m batman
Pizza is like sex, when it is good it`s very good, When it`s bad...it`s still pretty good.
BOOK FACT: If you took every book at Barnes and Noble and laid them end to end you get thrown out by security and banned from returning.
Just called the fire department to tell them that dogs pee on fire hydrants so they should probably all wash their hands.
If you think this week was a drag, wait till you see what happens next week!