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30 years later and my Cabbage Patch Kid still has no clue that he`s adopted.
You call the shots. I`ll drink them.
Got into a vicious battle with quite possibly the World`s Largest Spider. The outcome? Well, I`m updating my Facebook status this morning.... He isn`t.
Sadly, I don`t think anyone has Wang Chunged once tonight... :(
this website used to be full of funny statuses. Then the 8-year olds came in.
According to the squirrel riding a unicycle in my kitchen, I may have taken too much sleep medication.......
Bitch I’m not insulting you, I’m describing you.
We all have that one friend who always gives the best relationship advice , but is still single.
One day I shall rule the World! Until then, I`m going to bed
There`s a big difference between a mechanic and a surgeon when they work on a tranny.
A female mantis kills the male after sex. That used to seem cruel, but now that I`m married with kids I think the male mantis gets off easy.
I finally saw Kung Fu Panda. I`m certainly not an expert, but I thought the nunchuck scene looked kind of fake.
Entered what I ate today into my new fitness app and it just sent an ambulance to my house.
Some days the problem is I care too much… Today was not one of those days…
Imagine if trees gave off WiFi signals, We would be planting so many trees. And we`d probably save the planet too! Too bad they only produce the oxygen we breath :/