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In my defense, your honor, he had the keyboard clicking sound on his phone turned on.
The self-checkout line was a miracle for the condom industry.
The phrase "don`t take this the wrong way" has zero % success rate
You don`t have to like me, I`m not a Facebook status.
[takes out checkbook][clicks pen] Alright, how much to make these Bit Strips to go away forever.
I`ll be back before you can pronounce actillimandataquerin altosapaoyabayadoondib ab!
You bring everyone a lot of joy ... when you leave the room.
I used to care ... but I take a pill for that now.
A simpler, more believable theory is that all the dinosaurs got married and just quit having sex all together.
Are the unmarried employees at Kraft known as Kraft singles?
Life would be so much more interesting if we all had cartoon bubbles over our heads.
I`m at my most likable before you get to know me.
When you go in the other room I ask your dog what you look like naked.
My wife told me to get a real job or pack my bags! She must be losing it! Who threatens someone with a vacation?
At this point Washington DC is basically just an elaborate promotional stunt for Grand Theft Auto V.