Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
in 2014 there were times when I annoyed you, disturbed you, irritated you and bugged the hell out of you. Today i wanna let you know that i planned to continue with it this year :-)
So how many women out there think men are pigs? Gimme a show of tits!
After visiting the gov`t healthcare site, I don`t know why I was so worried about their ability to spy on me...
How many selfies does it take to get to the center of attention?
Chuck Norris doesn`t flush the toilet...he just scare the sh!t out of it.
Sometimes what sounds like opportunity knocking is actually disappointment leaving a flaming bag of poop on your doorstep.
Irons are like 1000 degrees, who`s bright idea was it to make an ironing board the flimsiest contraption ever made?
I was called a village idiot today which really upset me ... I live in a city.
I once had the desire to do something worthwhile with my life. Then I discovered naps.
My goal is to move just enough each day that no one pokes me to see if I`m dead.
I see subway employees are still having their "how much lettuce can you fit on a sandwich" contest.
Lisa has 750 friends on Facebook. A week later she adds 150 more to her friends list. What does she have? Answer-Big Boobs
"That`s too much bacon." -Nobody ever
Movie comes on while im in bed: ugh ive seen this a million times. Movie comes on before I have to get ready for work: oh hell yea a classic
All I want is a little more than I’ll ever get.