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I look forward to the day that cell phone technology finally catches up with technology in digital watches and they release a model that is water resistant up to 100 meters.
I will be posting telepathically today. So if you think of something funny, that was me.
Someone once said that I should always treat other people how I would like to be treated. Now I`m facing sexual harassment charges.
keeps getting dirty voicemails from unknown numbers. If it`s you.. Send more
Holy crap! I just realized that I´m still it from a game of tag in 1987.
Is there another word for synonym?
Getting up in the morning is like writing an essay. You want to do it, it takes a lot of effort, and you usually quit halfway through.
The bouncer at the club calls me Kevin McAllister because I`m always going home alone
My clothes are 75% off and this is not a sale.
Well that’s a wrap on another day where I act like I know what I’m doing
Sidenote #2: Always have your middle finger ready on standby.
Life gave me onions ... Onionade sucks.
I come from a long line of successful people. I have successfully stopped that tradition.
Some people are flirting with my delete & block button
Can you LIKE this status with your elbow? (no cheating)