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Kids....because who doesn`t enjoy a fun game of "What the hell is that smell and whose room is it coming from?"
"Ramen." - Scooby Doo finishing a prayer.
I don’t like being told what to do…unless I’m naked.
Business Plan: 1. Hold sign that says "Free Hugs" 2. Whisper during the hug, "it`s $50 to let go"
Do Starbucks employees take coffee breaks?
Dear alcohol we had a deal where you were supposed to make me cool, sexy, charming and a great dancer........I seen a video......we need to talk.
My smoke detectors are always cheering me on for being such a great cook.
my 2012 new year’s resolution is to be more optimistic by keeping my cup half-full with either rum, vodka, or whiskey.
You just don’t see enough people being taken away in straight jackets anymore.
My house looks like I`m losing a game of Jumanji.
I Wonder what Facebook Employees do to waste time at work ?
I could write an entire book on excuses... but I have to drop my dog off at the airport.
Apparently some strangers don’t need a hug.
Divorce... The most common home improvement project.
Hey Russia, you spelled Sushi wrong.