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The only difference between fear and adventure is how much you breathe.
Shopping tip: You can get shoes for a buck at bowling alleys.
You look over-medicated. What`s your doctor`s name?
If you`re going to regret this in the morning, we can sleep until the afternoon.
Someday we’ll look back on all this and pretend not to remember it.
Sometimes not being in control is the most awesome feeling in the world.
Do you remember that creepy guy who stood behind you on a train 6 years ago and was smelling your hair? Hi!
Any amusement you may have experienced from my past posts are in no way a guarantee of future performance.... Please initial here and sign here.
Cleavage is like the sun. You can look, but don’t stare.. Unless you’re wearing sunglasses.
I don`t care if its a scam! Just the fact that the Prince of Nigeria sends me personal email makes me feel special!
I forgot to post this earlier
I`m the type of person who goes out to a restaurant and orders a veggie burger with cheese and bacon on it.
Man:Hello doc, my wife is having a baby. Doctor:Is this the first child? Man:No, it`s the husband speaking.
I can either be on time or wearing pants. Pick one.
Why has no one invented a button next to snooze which emails your boss to say you`re gonna be late?