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A synonym is a word you use when you can`t remember how to spell the other word.
I can`t face my checkbook so I check my Facebook.
Miley Cyrus could never live in the kind of cold we`re having here. Can you imagine all the poles her tounge would get stuck to?
Why is it when you go to get your drivers license photo, they tell you to smile. Your not smiling when the police pull you over.
Iād like to see the dollar store get a liquor license.
All I`m saying is why blame it on being lazy when you can blame it on being old...
$5.99 Trojan condoms or $19.99 Huggies diapers. Choose wisely...
Nobody on television curses more than the Roadrunner.
Heat makes things expand. So I don`t have a weight problem...I`m just HOT.
Some of my best memories are naps.
My right thumb is in the best shape of my life.
My therapist doesn`t believe in werewolves so I left my last session with more problems than when I arrived.
I have said it before. I will at it again. If anyone is into wife swapping. I will take a dirtbike or a puppy. Hit me up.
Nobody tell my husband that "year round periods" aren`t a thing.