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It`s real cute how pedestrians confuse "right of way" with immortality.
My resolution last year was to learn Spanish, and that only lasted about dos weekos.
When I`m home alone, every noise I hear is a serial killer
Ferris Bueller did more in one day than I did last year.
Don`t be scared of the government shutdown, liquor stores are run by the states.
Why fall in love when you can fall asleep?
Today is "National Take Your Flask To Work Day." ... I just made it up. Tell the others.
A hard thing about business is minding your own
Relax… We’re all crazy.. It’s not a competition.
A touching letter by a little girl to Santa on Christmas: Dear Santa, Please give clothes to all those poor ladies in daddy`s laptop
People with the loudest car audio systems usually have the worst taste in music.
I bet wrecking ball operators are some of the happiest people in the world.
Life`s too short for Salad..............
I`m so sick and tired of my friends who can`t handle their alcohol. The other night they dropped me three time while carrying me to the car.
May have put up a few too many Christmas lights. A 747 just landed in the backyard.