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Debt doesn`t buy happiness either.
I´m playing that game where the floor is made of lava, so I obviously can´t get off the couch or I´ll die.
When you screw up, menopause can be a wonderful excuse for stupid things you do or say!!!
The wife finally agreed to anal sex... Does anyone know what a strap-on is?
I sleep better naked.. why can´t the flight attendants understand this?
I recently added squats to my daily workout routine and I did so by moving my beer to the bottom shelf in my refrigerator.
I have a kid in Africa I inoculate, feed, clothe and send to school for only $1 day. It cost a lot to send him over there though.
Never judge a girl`s boob size by their jacket.
my phone battery lasts longer than relationships this days !
I need to start setting an alarm to go to bed.
Learn to fight like you`re the third monkey trying to get on the Ark!
I made this margarita with my kids` slushie machine ... Don`t judge
You can never lose a homing pigeon. If your homing pigeon doesn`t come back, what you`ve lost is a normal pigeon.
If you`re confident enough, every zoo is a petting zoo.
I`m tired of being the better person. One day I`d like to be the b!tch they claim I am.