Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Life is very funny, if you take the time to watch it.
Dramatically slamming a book shut upon finishing it was way more satisfying than switching my Kindle off and gently placing it on the table.
People who are offended by offensive things offend me.
If I was Neil Armstrong landing on the moon, "That`s one small step for man," would have been, "Screw you every girl who ever shot me down!"
The cable company told me they would send a guy out and I need to be home between the hours of 1pm and 2015.
Who cares, WTF, OMG, so inappropriate, HOLY HELL ! Good LORD, not another selfie...WHOA NELLIE, NO, NO, and HELL NO!!! Me before unfriending someone.
Please come see my theatrical dramatization of the history of puns ... It`s a play on words.
I sleep better naked.. why can´t the flight attendants understand this?
Best way to get a man to do something, is to suggest they are too old for it.
It`s fun to leave a note on the windshield of an expensive car saying sorry I smashed it, but I fixed it so well that you can`t tell.
Just saw 2 homeless guys hitting eachother with cardboard... PILLOW FIGHT!
Actually officer, I`d prefer to think that vodka smells like me.
Absolutely is my favourite nothing to do...
Just shaved my legs for the first time since October...just kidding, it`s not warm enough for that yet.
Given enough coffee, I believe I could rule the world.