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Where do homeless people find all these sharpies?
"They Dared Me To" should be a legitimate excuse in a Court of Law.
You never know a person until you walk in their shoes... or until you check their browser history.
If each day is a gift, I`d like to know where I can return Monday.
If a bra is called an `over the shoulder bolder holder`, then what would you call men underwear? Under the butt nut hut
I`m an adult. I can eat a cupcake for breakfast & call it a muffin if I want
Today, A 12 year-old came up to me and said "May I please have a cigarette?". I can`t believe kids this age are already so polite.
A walk of shame is always sad. Don`t make it worse by adding the sound of Flip flops to it.
Safe words are for quitters.
I`m fat, but I blame my dog for not exercising me enough.
Absence makes the heart grow fonder, but my boss just gets mad when I don`t come into work.
If I get an e-mail from you that says "Sent from my Blackberry" at the bottom, please understand that I`m not going to respond. I can only assume that you sent it in 2006.
Marriage lets you annoy one special person for the rest of your life.
I`m not saying i hate you but if you were on fire and i had water i would drink it
I prefer to think outside the box because things can get very dark inside it.