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That`s weird, all this time I thought the Birds and the Bees was a dance from the 50`s.
I would like to remind everyone it`s not the size of the boat... Or the motion of the ocean, but the whether the boat is able to stay in port until all passangers have gotten off.
Everybody stop what you`re doing and play with crayons!! Enjoy the day
My method of going "offline" in FB chat is to simply ignore you.
Back in my day, we had to remember phone numbers and give people directions and don`t get me started on the dinosaurs.
As I get older my tastes are changing, for instance I used to not like brussels sprouts but now I don`t like people.
I don`t know why friends and family keep getting pregnant when I have two kids right here they can have.
went to vegas: put a coin in the machine and a prize came out, put another coin and another prize came out...problem is i don`t know what to do with all these empty cans now.
I`m gonna hang a Batman outfit in my closet to screw with myself when I get Alzheimer`s.
My swear jar has more money in it than my bank account.
Yoga is a great way to meet and embarrass yourself in front of women
If you`re not the lead dog, the scenery never changes!
We all have that one friend who needs to learn how to whisper
Just saw a guy checking out my wife. Good luck buddy. I’m married to her and I don’t even have a chance.
Lets all take a minute and realize the lack of creativity in the name "fire place"