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I can`t wait to meet that special someone who will eventually ignore me.
If I had a dollar for every time someone has told me to grow up, I could probably afford a whole arsenal of Super Soakers.
just read a list of "the 100 things to do before you die." I´m pretty surprised "yell for help" wasn´t one of them.
It just occurred to me that you could substitute Miranda rights for wedding vows. Verbatim.
Trust me ...... I can`t believe I`m still here either.
Deep down I don`t believe that paper beats rock.
I`m not saying I can perform miracles or anything, but when the Taco Bell employee isn`t looking,, I can turn water into Sprite.
I will be responsible for my actions....when my actions become more responsible.
A good way to mess with a jogger is to run up along side them and say "I think we lost them."
Is anyone going to tell America`s funniest videos about YouTube?
If the shoe fits, shove it further up their a$$
It only takes a few seconds to show someone how you feel about them,The police call it indecent exposure but whatever...
There is a 99.9% chance I am hungry.
I’m glad to know that we will never have to worry about a lack of weathermen. I mean, I know at least a couple dozen on Facebook.
Never resist a mad impulse to do something nice for me.