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That awkward moment when im in the Airport, I walk through the metal detector, and my abs of steel set it off
10 REASONS WHY I`M LAZY... you know what? Never mind. I can do this later.
Lots of people waiting in lines today. Did a new iPhone just come out?
My support group can outdrink your support group.
Girl: I am not having having s@x with guys at the moment. Boy:I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue
Life is not like a box of chocolates. Its more like a jar of jalapeños, what you do today can burn your a$$ tomorrow
Note to self: Next time, don`t use "continue" as the Safe Word.
i know how to shutup.I just don`t know when.
2015 and still no thieves interested in my identity.
If Tetris has taught me anything it`s that errors pile up and accomplishments disappear.
This police sketch artist has no idea that he`s about to draw me as the most bad ass Batman caricature ever.
Dora the explorer.... Y U NO GET GPS?
"It`s not about who`s right or wrong."~ The person that is wrong
If you have a problem with me please write it nicely on a piece of paper, put it in an envelope, fold it and shove it up your a$$.
You`re the reason why I wake up every morning... Just kidding, I have to go to work.