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ALCOHOL - Because no good story ever started with someone drinking a glass of orange juice.
i think lady gaga puts glue on herself, and rolls around random items.
It would take a pretty stupid robot to replace me.
went to see the conjuring, and now there`s 10 crosses, four bibles, and a poster of Chuck Norris in my room.
Sorry, I can’t today. My sister’s friend’s mother’s grandfather’s brother’s grandson’s uncle’s fish died, and yes, it was tragic.
My friends says that I spend too much time talking to random people online. What do you guys think?
Worrying works! 90% of the things I worry about never happen.
They call them heated seats because rear defroster was already taken
Madonna is 55 her boyfriend is 22. Tina Turner is 75 her boyfriend is 40. JLo is 42 her boyfriend is 26. Still single? Relax. Your boyfriend hasn`t been born yet.
How old do I have to be when I can start pulling in front of cars without looking?
I need to find a job where I am paid solely on how awesome I am.
People say 60 is the new 40 but the cop who just pulled me over doesn`t agree.
Bring a side? Like, of alcohol?
Some people are grateful for the impact you made in their life…. It’s not me, I think you’re a pr!ck.
I always drink responsibility I make sure that someone is responsible for buying me drinks.