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If I could only use one word to describe myself, it would probably be: "not good at following directions".
I miss the life I planned in my head.
Live today like it`s your last!! But pay your bills and use a condom just in case it isn`t.
I’m not going bald. I’m getting more head.
Boys will be boys... unless they get a sex change.
is accepting applications. Needed someone to keep me from doing dumb stuff. See previous post.
Seems like 2013 was just yesterday.
When I die, bury me with a pack of smokes, no light. Where I`m going, there will have plenty of free fires to light from.
Unless you fell on the treadmill, nobody wants to hear about your workout.
Before having a kid the most important thing to ask yourself is “Am I ready to watch the exact same cartoon on repeat for the next 4 years?”
Farts are just ghosts of things that we ate. ;D
Last night I was walking the sexiest girl ever home until she turned around and saw me.
Due to the rising cost of ammunition I will no longer be able to provide a warning shot. Thanks for your understanding.
I`ll be glad when it`s warm enough to pee outside
I hope daylight savings time hasn`t thrown you off your schedule of doing nothing.