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I`m not much on seizing the day, I just kinda poke it with a stick.
Tony Romo tried to throw his helmet down in frustration but it was intercepted and returned for a touchdown
If you`re going to have opinions on my life, then I am assuming you will be paying some of the bills.
Next time you see someone you don`t like, begin conversation with "I see the assassins have failed."
Ever talk to someone so stupid you can hear them misspelling words?
Why do people ask "What were you thinking?" Obviouly, I thought I was going to get away with it!
Are the unmarried employees at Kraft known as the Kraft Singles?
Behind every good selfie is approximately 47 nearly identical pictures that didn’t make the cut.
Being clean and sober means i’ve showered and am heading to the liquor store.
This may be the wine talking but help he’s drinking me, he’s drinking me.
Due to no supervision and sheer lack of self control; I sincerely with GREAT guilt! Here now inform you. I ate your banana split
Sometimes I wish people would just bring donuts to work instead of drama.
Whenever I fill out a job application with a box for "Race," I add a question mark and then write, "Anytime. Anywhere."
I`m starting to think that adult supervision is a myth. In fact, my eyes seem to be getting worse.
When someone wants to talk behind your back, FART!