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Is it hibernation time yet? Because I am 100% into that.
At long last, I`ve finished my research into the effect alcohol has on physical movement.....The results were, quite frankly, staggering.
How do you play religious roulette? You stand around in a circle with your friends and blaspheme, and see who gets struck by lightning first.
One good thing about having kids is that they are sick every time I get invited to something I don`t want to do.
These last 7 hours at work are always the longest.
Yoga pants are just push up bras for your butt.
I have to hand it to people who lead a double life ... I can barely handle the one I have.
Did you know that running for just 10 minutes a day raises your risk of posting inspirational quotes by 63%?
To whoever has my voodoo doll, scratch between my butt cheeks....I`m in public.
Heck, I can tell which people are really judgmental just by looking at them.
So the Boy Scouts are going to let girls join. Teenage boys and girls camping in the woods together. What could possibly go wrong?
Buy a "World`s Greatest Boss" mug and drink out of it in front of your boss.
My favorite in-laws are the ones that don`t exist.
I’m pretty sure the whole “ladies first” thing was created by a guy just to check out girls butt’s.
I`m just amazed after all these years that we STILL haven`t seen Mario`s buttcrack.